There’s no denying that Lydia’s Love Is Blind journey has been rockier than most — and not just because of her and fiancé Milton’s shared passion for geodes. 

Since the dating experiment first began in 2020, the Love Is Blind singles have encountered their fair share of unexpected twists, but Season 5 had a particularly large number in store for the Puerto Rican geologist. Midway through the season, fellow cast member Uche reveals that he and Lydia previously dated, which they conceal to protect both the integrity of the experiment as well as Lydia’s friend and his pod love interest, Aaliyah. Ultimately, the bombshell proves too much for Aaliyah, who abruptly exits the experiment and ends her friendship with Lydia. And, if that wasn’t enough, Lydia is then accused of purposely following Uche onto Love Is Blind to rekindle their past romance, sparking an explosive confrontation between the exes. 

So, what does Lydia have to say for herself? “The only reason why I [entered the experiment] was to find someone who was genuinely going to love me for me. What that means is, OK, I have flaws. I’m not perfect and I’m human, but [the point] is to see beyond the surface and not be afraid of vulnerability, and emotions.”

Heading into the experiment, Lydia says that her “picker” was absolutely broken, leading her to choose men like Uche in the past and to get distracted by her early pod infatuation with Izzy. “There has to be someone out there,” she remembers thinking. “I knew that I was intelligent, pretty, and ambitious. I was like, ‘What am I doing wrong that I'm not getting type of love that I deserve?’ ”

But despite all the drama, she manages to find her person in Milton, who powers through the chaos (and the couple’s seven-year age gap) to pop the question. “Milton was the outlier. He was the person that was actually willing to listen, understand, and get to know me to a real, deep level,” Lydia says. “He knows the good, bad, pretty, and not so pretty.”

As one of only two couples heading to the altar in this week’s finale, all eyes are on Lydia and Milton, but the public response to her journey in recent weeks has left her 
“feeling a little bit overwhelmed.”

“The aftermath of this experience is not what I expected it to be. I had this idea in my brain that it was going to be nice and, yes, there’s going to be some negativity, but not to this scale,” says Lydia. “You start to reassure yourself and say, ‘Yeah, this is not the person who I am and no one is the person they were two years ago anyway.’ ”

For Lydia, it’s been especially disheartening to see some viewers readily accept the narrative that she is the mastermind behind the season’s drama. “My conscience is clear because I never did anything with ill intentions. I’m not this Machiavellian [person]. People are giving me too much credit. All of these conspiracy theories about how I got on the show don’t even make sense.”

When it comes to Aaliyah, Lydia says she was put in a difficult position, but can still acknowledge her missteps. Her primary regret is oversharing with her friend about the past relationship in a conversation that “got misunderstood and misinterpreted so badly.”

“I only presented my side of the story. Did I share a lot of details? Yes, but it was the excitement,” she explains. “I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I can finally talk to you about this.’ If I go back, heck yeah, I would've done it differently. I wouldn’t have told her anything if I knew that’s what she was really thinking and just stayed in the corner.”

“I can now hold myself accountable when I have done things wrong, but I have not done anything wrong,” she adds. “Yes, mistakes happen, but they are mistakes and I learn from them. But doing something to harm anybody? No, I will never. That is not me.”

While the court of public opinion (or the Love Is Blind Reddit boards) might have already made up their minds, Lydia is instead choosing to give both herself and even her detractors some grace as the season draws to a close. 

“I don't think people were ready for a loud personality like mine,” she says looking back. “I don't think that society is used to seeing someone as loud, strong, and confident as I am. They typically go for the people that go by society’s standards and don’t necessarily feel the way I do, talk the way I do, or express themselves the way I do. This is not usually what you see.”

“I'm the first Puerto Rican that got [to the altar] in Love is Blind, and they’re not used to it,” she adds. “They’re used to more mellow, one-note [people] who are not as passionate as I am.”

But Lydia is thankful to those who she feels see her for who she really is: “There's a few [people] who do reach out and tell you, “Hey, you’re so inspiring. I admire you
and thank you for being so genuine. When I see that, it’s like, ‘OK, well, someone got the message.’ ”

At the end of the day, the sides of Lydia that might’ve caused some fans to paint her as an antagonist are what she calls the “special parts that make me me” — and she has no plans on changing them anytime soon. “Your superpower is that no one can be you, and that’s true,” she says. “No one can be me, and I am proud of the woman that I am today.”

And before you judge her, imagine how you might’ve reacted to the unprecedented curveballs thrown her way this season. “It is so brave,” she says. “I was not only going to be judged by my current relationship but also for my past. You know what really thick skin you have to actually be willing to do that and go through it? Mama didn't raise no bitch! Now, it's out, so, okay, here we go.”

Tune in to the Love Is Blind Season 5 reunion on Sunday, October 15 at 8PM ET / 5PM PT.